A look at the darker side of digital age | Dating violence

Submitted by SAFE San Juans

Living in the digital age can have many rewards, such as being able to instant message, share photos or videos or easily keep in touch with friends and family.

However, there is a darker side to our advancing technology that is not being talked about nearly enough; digital dating violence.

Digital dating violence is when someone repeatedly controls, pressures or threatens the person they’re seeing or dating through the use of their cellphones or online accounts. A study conducted by the Associated Press and MTV with a panel of ages 14-24, found that 41 percent of respondents who were in a relationship had experienced some form of digital abuse.

Nearly one-quarter (24 percent) said they always or sometimes felt that their partner was constantly pressuring them to check-in by e-mail, phone calls and/or texts.

Ask yourself how comfortable you are sharing personal information. What are your digital boundaries?

Do you want to post your relationship status? Is it OK to tag you in a photo or video? Are you comfortable sharing devices and passwords?

Remember, everyone has a right to privacy; sharing passwords is not a requirement of being in a relationship. All communication online or off should be respectful. It is never OK for anyone to say or do anything that would lower your self-esteem, make you feel bad or manipulate you. If your partner is telling you who you can and cannot be friends with or follow on social media, using social media to keep tabs on you, or sending or asking for unwanted explicit photos or videos, you may be experiencing digital dating violence. Learn more signs of digital dating violence at loveisrespect.org and thatsnotcool.com.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month and there are many ways for teens and parents to become involved. Parents, talk with your teens about relationship rights and boundaries.

Be informed about available privacy settings accessible through most social networks that allow users to control how information is shared.

Encourage teens to speak out about digital dating violence. Websites like breakthecycle.org are user-friendly, full of great information and are active on social media networks like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

SAFE San Juans’s mission is the prevention and elimination of domestic violence and sexual assault through victim services, education, community awareness, and cultural and social change. Contact SAFE San Juans on Friday Harbor at 378-8680, Lopez Island at 468-3788, and Orcas Island at 376-5979. If you or someone you know may be experiencing dating violence contact our 24/7 crisis lines at Friday Harbor: 378-2345, Lopez Island: 468-4567 or Orcas Island: 376-1234.