The sheer depth and intensity of love felt for one’s children is what has surprised Lindsey Saarie most about motherhood.

“It’s a love unlike any other, a fierce protectiveness mixed with an overwhelming tenderness. I’ve also been surprised by the constant learning curve,” Saarie said. “Just when you think you’ve figured something out, your little ones enter a new phase, and it’s back to the drawing board – in the most beautiful way, of course!”

Saarie has two young children, teaches theater and literature at the San Juan Island School District. When asked if she had any secrets about how to balance such a busy schedule, she replied, “Secrets? If only! It feels more like a carefully orchestrated dance that I’m constantly tripping over.” Her biggest “secret,” she explained, is letting go of the idea of a perfect balance.

“Some days, work demands more, and other days, your family needs you more. It’s about prioritizing in the moment and trying to be present wherever you are. I’m incredibly lucky to have a support system,” Sarrie said, crediting her “amazing” husband and her “absolute rock,” “I honestly couldn’t function without his partnership. He makes me a better parent and human. And my parents? Angels on earth! They’re always there to lend a hand.”

It truly takes a village, she added. “Also, I’ve learned to embrace the mess – both literally and figuratively. Some days, survival is the goal, and that’s perfectly okay. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Find small pockets of time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes of quiet. This can make a big difference.”

Saarie also expressed feeling fortunate to raise a family in the islands, which offers some truly special, positive experiences, including access to nature and outdoor activities and ample opportunities for children to explore and grow. “There’s a strong sense of community. Island life fosters close connections, and I’ve found that support network invaluable as a parent.”

Saarie added that the ability to relax a bit in public spaces is also lovely. “I’m never afraid for my kid’s safety. I feel OK about letting them explore independently, which is so important for their development and confidence.”

Of course, isolation can set in, especially when ferries are disrupted, but she said, “Logistically, getting off-island for specialized appointments or activities sometimes requires more planning, money, and travel time. Overall, the benefits greatly outweigh the drawbacks.”

Of all the lessons to instill in her children, Saarie said she hopes to instill a strong sense of empathy and kindness, and the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, coupled with the desire to act with compassion. “I also hope to foster a lifelong love of learning and curiosity, encouraging them to explore their passions and never stop asking questions. The world is such an amazing place, and I want them to always be eager to learn and explore.”

And, she added, going back to the question about balance, Saarie also wants her kids to feel they can do what they love; that they don’t have to sacrifice passion.

Her own mother is a lover of seasons and a master gardener, and passed her love of plants down through the generations to Saarie and Saarie’s children. “I love her love of plants and that I know the names of flowers. It makes me so happy when my kids randomly say, ‘Mom, look, a rhododendron!’ or lilac, euphorbia, hellebore, or whatever it is we pass along the way. That’s from her.”

Saarie continued, saying that her mother also taught her the importance of perseverance and resilience; to keep going even when things get tough, and “to never give up on my goals or myself. Her unwavering faith and her unconditional love have been a constant source of strength throughout my life.”

Children often teach the adults, parents included. For Saarie, they taught her about love, saying, “You think you know love when you’re growing up, and you love your family. Your capacity to love grows with friendships and romantic relationships. But the love for your children is something you can only understand when you experience it.”

And of course, patience. “Oh. My. Goodness. Patience levels I never knew existed (and which are still tested daily!). They’ve also taught me to slow down and appreciate the little things – the way a ladybug crawls on a leaf, the pure joy of splashing in a puddle. And their honesty? Brutal sometimes, but always refreshing!” Saarie laughed.

Motherhood has changed over time, for better and worse. The constant influx of information and advice, sometimes conflicting, on social media and the internet can create pressure and comparison. “The expectations placed on mothers today also seem incredibly high, often requiring us to feel the need to be and do everything all at once,” Saarie said. “However, there are also aspects that are arguably easier. We have more access to technology and resources that can simplify certain tasks (hello, AI meal planning). There’s also a greater awareness and open discussion around mental health and the challenges of parenthood.”

Those discussions hopefully lead to more support and understanding, Saarie said, “Being a parent can be incredibly rewarding, and also incredibly heartbreaking. Having access to a network of individuals who have been through similar experiences can alleviate some of the loneliness in those moments.”

For new or soon-to-be moms, Saarie says, “My biggest piece of advice is to trust your instincts. There will be a lot of well-meaning advice coming your way, but ultimately, you know your child best. Be kind to yourself, especially in those early days and weeks. Allow yourself grace and remember that it’s okay not to have all the answers.”

Connecting with other parents is also key, and listening to and watching what they do. “Pick and choose things that work for you and your family. There is no one-size-fits-all in parenting.,” Saarie emphasized. Most importantly, “cherish those precious moments, even the messy and exhausting ones, because they truly do go by so quickly. How are my kids reading already!?”

Motherhood, and parenting in general, is a journey, and, Saarie says, “Being a mom, with all its ups and downs, is the most incredible adventure. It’s messy, it’s challenging, but it’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. And having my amazing husband and my wonderful parents by my side makes all the difference in the world. I’m so grateful!”