By Peggy Sue McRae
Journal contributor
During my check-in at PeaceHealth in Bellingham recently I was asked if I had an advance care directive. I could only say, “I’ve got the paperwork” I just haven’t filled it out yet. I did fill out a Five Wishes document in 2014. While that is way better than nothing, I’ve been meaning to update that document. Contemplating these practical end-of-life issues forces us to acknowledge that our life, at least as we know it, will end. What? How can that be?
What happens to “me” when my ashes are mingled with the wind and the sea? The Dalai Lama believes in reincarnation. He said dying and being reincarnated is like getting a new pair of pants when the old ones have worn out. I’m not sure if I believe that but if anyone could convince me it would be the Dalai Lama. If it were up to me and if I did choose this life, I could not have chosen better than to become the child of a handsome couple from Friday Harbor in the middle of the 20th century.
At my mother’s memorial, sitting with my sisters at Friday Harbor Presbyterian, I almost laughed. The minister spoke about how Flossie, our mom, would be reunited with her late husband in heaven. I instantly visualized my mom waltzing through the pearly gates and running smack dab into both of her late husbands, Jim Lang and Jim McRae. That could be awkward!
I was caring for my mom in her last days when I had an opportunity to visit Maui. They say that if you take a volcanic stone away when you visit Hawaii, Pele, the volcano goddess will seek revenge and you will have bad luck. That is why when I visited Maui I took a volcanic stone from San Juan Island, painted a Hawaiian breadfruit design on it, said some prayers and threw it into Haleakala Volcano, a gift for Pele.
A little while later, my fortunes did improve but it was not lost on me that my inheritance from my mom was directly related to her death. I was home in my kitchen listening to National Public Radio on the radio when I heard the news. Tropical storm “Flossie” was headed directly toward Maui! It seemed to me that my mom might have had some unfinished business with Pele. This is why I like to think of my mom as slipping out of Presbyterian heaven to go about as a tropical storm.
It may be a human tendency to mythologize what we find incomprehensible. I still have not filled out the paperwork for my advance care directive but at least I have moved it to my desk. Don’t hook me up with tubes and machines if I’m not going to recover. I do love this life but will be ready to take my chances of being born in Scandinavia next time, arriving at a family reunion in heaven or simply becoming a scattering of minerals going out on the tide.
PeaceHealth Advance Care Directive www.peacehealth.org/advance-care-planning
Learn more about Five Wishes: https://www.fivewishes.org/
Look for upcoming workshops at the Mullis Center: Aging in Place, Hospice 101 and Advance Care/Advance Directives. Check the Mullis Center’s newsletter and weekly e-updates for times and dates.
