Setting an example | Island Senior
Published 1:30 am Wednesday, January 28, 2026
By Peggy Sue Mcrae
Superficial signs of aging, wrinkles and gray hair can be disconcerting when they start showing up. They remind us of our mortality and that time is marching on. Some of us, women especially and women in public professions most especially, are often under pressure to rein in those age-defining signifiers. That makes it all the more impressive when someone like movie star Kate Winslet decides to fight the Hollywood trend and embrace the natural aging of her face, wrinkles and all.
Says Winslet, she likes “having a face that moves” and that she means to set an example. Hair coloring can be fun and, in many cases, a successful and harmless endeavor. In my case, it was not. I have not colored my hair since the George W. Bush administration. At that time, the drugstore hair coloring kit I was using was damaging my hair. Instead of looking more youthful, I was cultivating a look of brassy desperation. Then I went to Seattle with my friend Thrinley DiMarco.
Thrinley was an important role model for me in many ways, not the least being her natural beauty and her lovely salt and pepper hair. On that excursion, we met other women about our age with beautiful silvery hair. I determined at that time to go natural with my hair. It was helpful to have a few sterling examples.
One woman who has been setting an example for decades is Jane Fonda. In an interview following the death of her colleague and friend, Robert Redford, the octogenarian actress was taken aback to be asked about having “work done” (plastic surgery). While she admitted to having a facelift, she then emphasized that she has always had good posture and has taken very good care of herself. In her 80s, Fonda looks good, but it’s not all hair and make-up.
Fonda, in the 1980s, built an aerobic dance empire. I had her book, her exercise video and attended regular aerobic dance classes right here in Friday Harbor. I even had leg warmers. Having a facelift may have given Fonda smoother cheeks, but I believe she remains active, working and looking good in her 80s due to a lifetime of, as she said, good posture and taking care of herself (all those butt crunches!). She certainly provided a positive role model for me and for countless others.
Setting an example can have a ripple effect. Podcaster and 33-year-old mother of four girls, Kylie Kelce, has taken Winslet’s example to heart. On her podcast, “Not Gonna Lie,” Kelce said, “When I raise my eyebrows because I’m interested in what my children are saying and I have lines in my forehead, it only furthers the expression … It’s like an exclamation point on my expression.” Kelce then looks into the future and the example she is setting for her daughters, saying, “When they get into their 30s, I want them to be like, ‘you know what? Mom had wrinkles then, too.”
How do you feel about your own aging process? Are there people you look to as role models? What kind of example are you setting for others? Keep in mind, you may be more influential than you will ever know.
