Me: Youngish tabby girl. Love Fancy Feast, bird-watching, designer handbags, banana cream pie and books on tape. Adore Hallmark Christmas movies and a good cuddle on the sofa with someone who shares my opinion that dogs are inferior to cats.

You: Discerning individual with exquisite taste in friends, a generous heart and comfortable furniture.

We should meet. My name is Hazel, and I’m waiting for you at the animal shelter.