First of all, I want to thank all the islanders who helped me get back home safely on June 27 even though I was not always a willing participant. My adventure started the night of the June 26, when the wind blew the yard gate opened. And thusly I began my infamous exploration of the north shore area of Orcas Island.

In response to thousands of hits on my Facebook page, I have become a social media superstar. I have an agent, an ego, lots of money and a new house next to Oprah’s. Because of my star status, I have decided to run for mayor of Eastsound next year. Kamala Harris has asked me to be her running mate, but I declined since I am also planning to run for president in 2024 myself. To reach me for further information about my candidacy, contact my people, “entourage.” I’ll be easy to recognize. I’ll be driving through town in my Bentley convertible with suitable sunglasses and scarf.

Footnote: As witnessed in my video on King 5 news, you need only give me and my friends a few hours to eradicate your deer problem.

Louise Macpherson-Knapp, (Tish’s Emu)

Orcas Island